Daughter desperate to donate kidney to mom

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a really tough situation with my mom, who has been going through so much lately. She’s on dialysis for six hours four times a week, and she has been waiting for a kidney donor for almost a year now. I just returned from Brazil and found out that I’m a match, and I’m willing to donate my kidney to her. My mom is refusing to accept it and doesn’t want me to go through with the transplant. I understand she might be worried about the risks and the impact on my health, but it breaks my heart that she won’t even consider this option. I want her to know how much I love her and that I’m ready to help her in this way. How can I convince her to at least think about it? — Desperate Daughter DEAR DESPERATE DAUGHTER: You cannot control your mother’s choices. What you can do is assure her of your love and support. Stop pestering her about being her kidney donor. She may come around to it. A donor may surface through other means if she is on the list. Honor her wishes and just be with her. This is her life. You cannot live it for her.