Friend shares honest opinion about woman’s boyfriend

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine is in a relationship, and in my opinion, her partner is not good to her. From what she tells me and what I observe, he seems selfish, abrasive, cheap and not affectionate or protective of her. At a social event, he asked me jokingly why it feels like I don’t like him. I gave him a serious answer — a diluted version of my thoughts on how he treats my friend. I did not disrespect him or raise my voice, and although he initiated this conversation, my friend is upset with me for sharing my opinion with him. Was I wrong? — Crossing the Line DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: This is tricky, as friends do expect a covenant to exist between them where they do not reveal their innermost thoughts about partners. It is typically understood that you keep those opinions to yourself. The big caveat is that sometimes it is best for a friend to stand up — to actually be a friend — and tell the truth when it needs to be heard. This can sometimes lead to the end of a friendship if the revelation feels like a betrayal. It can also lead to honest and thoughtful reflection on what is actually going on in a relationship.