Parents ready for adult son to move out
DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I politely kick my son out of the house? My 24-year-old son lives with me and my husband in Phoenix. He recently graduated college and doesn’t want to leave our house, even though he has a job and makes enough money to be able to afford an apartment.
He would just have to live a more humble life.
Right after he finished college, I allowed him to live with us because he hadn’t found a job yet. However, it’s been two years since he found employment, and my husband and I think it’s time for him to become more independent and move out. We love having him around, but we also think that living on his own will help him grow and mature further.
I want to approach this conversation delicately to avoid causing unnecessary tension or hurt feelings. We don’t want him to feel unwelcome or unloved; rather, we want him to understand that this step is about his personal growth and development. We’re proud of his accomplishments and confident in his ability to manage on his own. How can we communicate this to him in a way that is supportive and encouraging? — Time To Move DEAR TIME TO MOVE: Talk to your son about his plans for the future. What does he want for his life? How does he envision it? Does he want to buy a home? You might encourage him to save for a starter home and give himself a timeframe for when he will have the down payment. If he doesn’t have that vision, talk to him about independence and the importance of striking out on his own. Suggest that he give himself a deadline for moving out. You will always love and support him, but you believe it is healthy for him to live under his own roof and to begin to make independent decisions. Make it clear to him that he is always welcome at the family home, but it is time for him to establish his own home now.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it acceptable to deactivate my social media accounts without notifying anyone, particularly while living alone, to prioritize my mental well-being? As a person new to the corporate scene, and living alone in a bustling city, the constant influx of social media notifications and comparisons has been taking a toll on my mental health. I am feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to constantly stay connected and maintain a curated online presence. I have been considering the idea of taking a break from social media to focus on self-care and personal growth. However, I worry about how my friends and family might react to my sudden absence on social platforms, especially since I live independently. I have no intention of causing concern among my social circle. — Social Media Break DEAR SOCIAL MEDIA BREAK: Yes! Shut them down. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are putting social media on pause. Because you live alone, you may want to inform your “in case of emergency” person. Otherwise, the people closest to you should be reaching out to you personally anyway.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams.
You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole. com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
