Mom tells church her concerns about another woman

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom always shares our family gossip with the church, and I just don’t understand why. She seems to believe that another member of the congregation is flirting with my dad. This woman will often ask my dad for help with errands or call him at unappreciated hours for advice about her children, but she never makes an effort to speak to my mother. While I agree it is a bit distasteful, what I find worse is my mom’s determination to get the church leaders involved. I mean, hey, I’m not married, so I’m not privy to how that works, but I wish she’d just talk to my dad about it. Tell him that the friendship (or whatever) he’s formed with this woman seems strange and makes her uncomfortable. In my head, that seems like a sensible approach, but I’m not sure how or whether I can pitch it to my mom without her wondering why I’m butting in to their business. It’s embarrassing feeling like the whole church thinks my dad is a cheater or that my mom can’t handle things on her own. What can I do? — Church Gossip DEAR CHURCH GOSSIP: Given that your mother’s reaction to this behavior has included telling other members of your church, it is no longer just her business. Unfortunately, you are now caught in the middle of this. If you are up for it, you may need to speak to both of your parents. Starting with your mother, tell her you know she is concerned about this woman’s behavior because church members are gossiping about it. Suggest that she speak directly to your dad rather than putting family business out for the public to consume. If she balks, remind her that you know not because she told you, but because you learned it through the church grapevine.