Friends don’t share commuting duties to hang out

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my friends, but I hate how inconvenienced they have made me. My friends and I are all college students who met freshman year living in the dorms. It was so easy to hang out with one another because we all lived in the same building and were basically joined at the hip. This year, three of my friends have moved nearly an hour away from me and from campus. It takes me two trains with two separate fares to get to them. My friends are still expecting me to hang out with them most days, even though they’re so far. I have invited them to come to my place, but they always ask if I can come to them because they don’t want to commute. If they don’t want to commute to hang out, why should I be expected to? How can I tell them I think it’s unfair for me to always go to them without causing drama? — A Commuting Friendship DEAR A COMMUTING FRIENDSHIP: Now that you and your friends live so far apart, you will eventually have to accept that the rhythm of your personal interactions is going to change. If they are unwilling to visit you sometimes, the day will come — probably soon — that your visits will become less frequent. For you, this may be harder because they are together and you are alone.