Not-boyfriend doesn’t want to make birthday effort

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going out with a guy for a few months. We aren’t anything official yet, but my birthday is coming up, and he asked me what I want for my birthday. I said I wanted a surprise. When I said “surprise,” I was thinking that he would take me to a cute restaurant or ask me what I’ve been wanting to do around New York City, which is where we live. A few days later when we were together, he told me that I’m not his girlfriend and that my expectations are too high when asking for a surprise. I didn’t give him context on what I imagined a “surprise” to be — he may have been thinking I was expecting something super expensive from him — but he was the one who offered to do something in the first place.