New friend too eager to make plans

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my childhood friends and his wife moved to my city about a year ago. While I’ve known him forever, I’ve grown much closer to his wife since they relocated. I genuinely enjoy her company, and I know the transition has been harder for her since she doesn’t have many friends here yet. That said, I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed. Recently, I mentioned a DIY home project I was planning, and before I knew it, she invited herself over to help, suggested turning it into a sleepover and even made it into a full “girls’ night.” Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t mind, but I just hosted outof- town friends for several days, and I’m still recovering from all the energy that took. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her feel unwelcome, especially because I know she may be leaning on me for connection right now. At the same time, I need some space and don’t want every casual mention to turn into a full-on plan. How can I gently set boundaries without damaging our friendship or making her feel rejected? — Need Some Space DEAR NEED SOME SPACE: This is a tough one, but you do need to establish boundaries. First, stop saying everything in your mind to her. You are a lifeline right now, so she is holding on to every word. Next, you will need to say when you want time to yourself.