Salary speculation causes social awkwardness
Features
February 21, 2026
SENSE AND SENSITIVITY

Salary speculation causes social awkwardness

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel awkward when people ask me how much money I make. I recently got a new job at a large tech company as a vice president, and now many of my friends and family keep asking me how much I make. In my opinion, it’s always rude to ask how much money someone makes, so I always tell people that I’m not going to give them that information. The problem is that when I say that, people get visibly uncomfortable or make jokes about it. Some will say things like, ‘Oh, it must be a lot if you won’t tell us,” or “Must be nice!” Others push even harder and try to guess the number out loud. It turns what should be a celebratory moment in my career into something that feels tense and transactional. What makes it more complicated is that I didn’t grow up with much money, and I’ve worked extremely hard to get where I am.

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