Boyfriend refuses to see doctor about moodiness

DEAR HARRIETTE: How long do you stay in a relationship when it doesn’t seem to be healthy? I’ve been with my boyfriend for nine years. At first it was great, though he has always been moody. Now his moods are the driving force of the relationship. I never know how he is going to act when I see him. He can be kind one minute and hostile the next. I think he may have some kind of mental condition. I have suggested that he go to a doctor to talk about medication that helps people with depression or other mood disorders. He refuses.