Girlfriend expects partner to spend lots of money on her

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m starting to feel uneasy about my relationship with my girlfriend. We’ve been together for about a year now, and while I care for her, it seems like when we spend time together, it involves me spending money on her. Whether it’s buying her meals or gifts or covering other expenses, there’s always some sort of financial disbursement expected from me. In the beginning, I didn’t think much of it because I wanted to show her how much I cared. However, now it’s become a pattern, and I’m starting to wonder if she’s with me for the right reasons. It’s not that I mind treating her, but I’m beginning to feel like my value in this relationship is tied to what I can provide financially. Whenever I suggest doing something that doesn’t involve spending money, she seems less enthusiastic or finds a reason to decline. I’m conflicted because I do love her, but I can’t help but feel taken advantage of. How do I approach this situation without damaging our relationship? — Feeling Used DEAR FEELING USED: Don’t be shy. Speak directly to your girlfriend, and tell her how you are feeling. Remind her how much you care about her, and add that you do not want your relationship to feel transactional; you would like to do more things with her that do not revolve around spending money. It is possible to enjoy each other without spending a dime. See what she says. This will reveal a lot about who she is and what she values, and her reaction will let you know if she is someone you want to continue engaging as your partner.