Grandmother has a habit of mentioning one child

DEAR ABBY: I’m 42 and recently had my first baby. My brother is six years younger and has a baby who just turned 1.

Our mom has a total of four biological grandkids and one step-grandchild.

I know Mom loves all of them. She is a very caring and giving grandmother. But lately, anytime I bring up my daughter in conversation, she automatically starts talking about my brother’s baby. I have noticed this is happening a lot, and my boyfriend has noticed it also. We were recently at a family party, and anytime anyone mentioned their kids or grandkids, Mom would walk over and start talking about my brother’s daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I love my niece. But Mom doesn’t talk about my daughter or my sister’s kids (teenagers) like she does my brother’s baby girl.

Am I wrong to feel that my mom needs to concentrate on my baby when she is around her? I get tired of her always bringing up my niece. My boyfriend is fed up with it, too, but hasn’t said anything to my mom.

I honestly don’t think she does it intentionally. Is this something I should address with her, or just let it be? — TICKED OFF IN TEXAS DEAR TICKED OFF: Because this is bothering you enough that you would write to me, you absolutely should discuss this with your mother. And when you do, tell her your boyfriend has noticed it, too, and ask her why she feels it necessary to do this. She may be unaware she is doing it, and the effect it has been having on you.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years.

We’ve had arguments about bedtime etiquette since the honeymoon phase wore off. There’s one bed in his three-bedroom house. I like to sleep in silence in darkness — I’ve always thought this was the ideal setting for quality sleep. My boyfriend, on the other hand, likes to sit up in bed with a dim light on while scrolling and playing videos on his phone while I’m next to him!

He says I am “overly sensitive” and gets upset when I go to sleep on the couch.

We’ve had nasty fights about this, and I don’t understand how I’m unreasonable when I just want to sleep. I think he’s selfish. Who’s being unreasonable, and how can I manage to get quality sleep with a partner like this? — SLEEP-DEPRIVED IN THE EAST DEAR SLEEP-DEPRIVED: You are not unreasonable. Your boyfriend is controlling and inconsiderate. You MUST take care of yourself. Sleep deprivation can not only make a person a dangerous driver and less efficient at work, but it can also make a person sick. If you are not living with this person full time, for the sake of your health, consider sleeping at your place on weeknights. If you are living in his home, consider moving. If your boyfriend is this unreasonable in other areas, “consider reconsidering” the relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow. I supported my husband during our entire marriage with no help from his wealthy parents. My husband died before his father did. After my father-in-law’s death, I received nothing.

My sister-in-law told me she would give me $5,000, but she would invest it for me and give it to me after I retire. Well, that was 10 years ago. I just retired. When I asked her for it, she claimed she had no memory of it and got angry with me for asking. I argued and said I hated her “stingy” family, and she hung up on me. Should I ask her for the money again? — PROMISE BROKEN IN MICHIGAN DEAR PROMISE: No.

Unless the promise your husband’s sister made was in writing, there is no way for you to collect the money.

Asking for it again will not help. I’m sorry.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old married mother of two daughters, ages 3 and 1. About a year ago, a couple our age moved in across the street. They have two boys, ages 3 and 11 months.

While we have formed a friendship with this family, I find it very uncomfortable when the family leaves our home and the father kisses my children on the cheek.

The mother does not do it.

I want it to stop, but I don’t know how to address it. — UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE EAST DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: The way to address it would be to tell your neighbor that you would prefer he not kiss your children. Period. You are their mother, and asserting yourself in this role is part of your job.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who will be observing this Memorial Day, I add my own prayer of thanks for those courageous men and women who have sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. — LOVE, ABBY