Following tragedy, family ‘chooses love’

The Anders family of Fallowfield Township adopted three sisters from foster care

By Taylor Brown
tbrown@yourmvi.com

When Sam Anders, 14, of Fallowfield Township tragically took her own life three years ago, her parents, Gregg and Joyce, offered simple advice to those who rallied around them: choose love.
While the family still grieves the loss of their beloved daughter and sister, the Anders family have once again chosen love — three times over.
On Wednesday, in a courtroom full of love, laughs and tears, Westmoreland County Common Pleas Judge James P. Silvis signed certificates of adoption for three sisters, who after more than a year as foster children, officially became members of the Anders family.
Gregg said he and his wife Joyce had considered adoption before Sam, who would be 16, passed away. But other family matters became more pressing at the time.
Joyce remembers Sam beaming at the idea she might have a younger sister.
“I had a vision, a dream, when she was still here that we had a blonde haired little girl,” Joyce said. “Sam was so excited at the thought of getting a little sister, and was disappointed when we had to step away from that process.”
Then, in December 2019, Joyce stumbled on an article online about a teenage girl who needed a forever family.
“She was the same age Sam would have been, and Joyce came out and showed the article to me, and was telling me how sad it had made her,” Gregg said. “I told her we could be sad, or we could do something about it. She came back in, we called the number and inquired about foster care, but she had already been placed with someone else.”
The Anders decided they had more love to give in their hearts, so they filed to obtain their foster care license and then waited.
After being approved, it took a few weeks before a social worker called and asked if they would be interested in fostering three sisters, Breanna, now 11, Kayla, now 8 and Annabella, now 2.
The two oldest girls were taken to their new home on March 27, the day after Sam’s birthday.
The youngest, Annabella, joined the family a few weeks later.
For more than a year, the Anders got to know the girls and became reacquainted with parenting young children.
“It sure put the life back in us,” Gregg said. “From the first day we had them, we knew we would adopt them and become their family.”
Along with new last names, the kids chose their own new first names as well, Breanna is now known as Madison, Kayla is called Addi, short for Addison, and Annabella is called Annie.
Joyce and Gregg chose to pass on Sam’s middle name, Nichole, to Annie in honor of her late older sister.
As the Anders’ two oldest children, Victoria, 21 and Tyler, 15, sat with their new sisters as their parents testified before the judge, Joyce said she knows Sam was smiling down on them, proud of her parents and excited for her family.
“There are a lot of emotions today,” Joyce said. “Today is a special day, yet it’s extremely emotional and it hurts. It marks a special day for three beautiful girls, who will officially become Anders, but it also hurts my heart to think anyone would have wanted to give them up.
“My heart hurts because I can’t imagine giving my kids away for any reason. My heart hurts for the biological parents, please pray for them, too. My heart breaks because Sam won’t physically be in our family photos.”
To make sure Sam was there in spirit, Joyce wore a necklace with Sam’s thumbprint to the special occasion, which marked the Anders officially becoming a family of eight.
“This is not how I want family photos to be, I want Sam physically here,” Joyce said. “But, I know she wanted us to do this. I know she was there with us today and would be honored to have Annie named after her.”
Worth the wait
Fostering youngsters again initialy threw the Anders for a loop, as they had to go back to teething and potty training, and remembering what it is like to have young children once again running through their backyard.
“I never wanted a big family,” Joyce said. “But I have eaten those words. When Tyler was out of diapers, I swore I would never have a diaper bag again, but I ate those words, too. I swore up and down I would never drive a minivan, but here I am and my heart couldn’t be more full.”
In the year they have spent together, Annie learned to crawl and now is walking. Madison and Addi are learning how to cook, bake and take on other household responsibilities.
They have also developed a relationship with God.
“It has been a learning curve for all of us,” Gregg said. “There were times when the girls missed their parents, still wanting to have a relationship with them, times where they were sad, or frustrated or disappointed, but now they seem to be excited. We have so much love to give them.
“It melts my heart to think about it, but the girls said to us one day that they were glad God brought us together, because now they know God.”
The girls fondly remember their sister, Sam, though they never got to meet her in person.
“That was a hard conversation to have,” Joyce said. “But, we all sat down and talked about it.”
Gregg said often times the girls will remind him of Sam, in special ways.
“They visit her grave with us, and sometimes when they see a butterfly, they mention her name,” Gregg said.
While their older children are getting used to having younger siblings in the house, the Anders are excited to officially start life together as one big, happy family.
By sharing their story of tragedy, grief and the ability to overcome through God’s will, they hope they inspire others to open their home to children and teens in need.
“We miss Sam and love Sam, but we knew in our hearts there were children who needed us, and we had love to give,” Gregg said.
Joyce wants to encourage others with extra love in their hearts to take a leap that could change their lives.
“There is no excuse,” she said. “Life is not too busy, it isn’t too expensive, there is always enough room. There are children, like our children, who just need love, guidance and direction. It doesn’t require much, you just have to pour your love into them.”
As they begin to make new memories at home, Joyce said it might not be the end of the road for their growing family.
“I keep having dreams that we have other children, which I know sounds wild and so crazy,” she said. “But I told Gregg we might just need to buy a bigger house.”